MKE Week 8: The pain of cracking through the cement

I’m not gonna lie.  The last 2-3 weeks haven’t been easy by a long shot. When I was on week 8 webby last Sunday, and Mark complimented those of us who have come this far, I did not feel great about myself.  I felt like I was barely holding on.  I knew I was not hitting the readings three times a day.  I had not made my recording yet.  And I still had not made it through a reading of Emerson without falling asleep.

While our mental diet of no negative thoughts that “catch” (over 5-7 seconds) had been in place for over a week, I still had not made it though a single day.

I was challenged by stuff going on in my home life, my work life, and my health.  I felt like I was about to crash and burn.

But I did the best I could each day anyway.

If I came home with a migraine and missed the evening read, I got up and started again the next day.

If I fell asleep trying to read Emerson, I read The Greatest Salesman again to wake me up.

When I was at work, I took joy in doing my job well.  In connecting with my students.  In feeling the “I love you” with every person I encountered.

Most everything that could go wrong did go awry in work and life and health. However, my goal of not dwelling on worry thoughts, of not succumbing to anxiety motivated behavior, was easier to hit with the mental diet and the daily work.

So, while I may not have gone a single day of less than 5 seconds on any negative thought, I have moved through a lot of challenges with more grace and belief in good outcomes than I would have before.

The cement is making itself known before it cracks off.  That’s for sure.

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